On Mother’s Day last year was the night me and Jose found out I was pregnant with our little Xavier! Perfect timing right? Time has flown by!
The first person I told was my best friend Carsyn, and a few days later we told my parents. Of course my parents were upset, as most parents would be if their 19 year old daughter told them she was pregnant after dating someone for a whopping two months and only knowing him for three. The house was definitely tense for a few days and for some family members a little longer, but I was okay with that. I understood why they were upset and I couldn’t be mad at them for it. Jose told his mom and dad and they were so excited to have their second grandchild, and later finding out their first grandson, on the way. At the time, finding out I was pregnant was a mix of so many emotions. I was so happy because I couldn’t wait to be a mom. Being a mom was something I dreamed about since I was young enough to know what a baby was, I knew I wanted a million! When people would ask me what I wanted to do with my life I used to always say to be a stay at home mom! (After a while I decided in case it took a long time I should go to school for teaching since I love kids.) At the same time I was feeling confused because I knew that not everyone was initially as happy as I was.
These were the flowers Jose got me on Mother’s Day last year 💜
I grew up in a Christian family and I knew when I was telling my family and some of my friends it was shocking to them. For them to not be happy for me and to see and hear it outwardly made it hard for me to be showing my happiness in a way I wanted to. It felt wrong to be happy because I sinned. For the first few months, every time I told someone I ended up crying. I remember telling my grandma and her response was, “hunny I don’t think you should be crying when you’re telling people, I wanted to respond with happiness but I didn’t know that I should.” I think I had it so engraved in my mind that the situation I was in wasn’t “right” so how could I be happy? The only person I remember telling and didn’t cry, was my best friend, but even though I didn’t cry to her right in that moment I ended up crying to her so many times after. It was an emotional roller coaster for me and I’m sure that made it an emotional roller coaster for Jose.
The first few months were the hardest, but once I got past the confusing emotions, it was all happiness. I was going to be a MOM! I remember my mom telling me she didn’t always understand why some people couldn’t see the good in having a baby even if the situation isn’t ideal, it’s a baby! It a little tiny human that we all get to meet and that will change our lives forever, there’s not one thing negative about a little baby!
When I got pregnant it changed my life, so many relationships got stronger and some fell away, but it all worked out to be amazing in the end. I wouldn’t change it for anything because my little guy is the cutest thing in the world! And probably one of the best babies, but that might just be because I’m his mom :)